The strawberry yogurt at the dining hall is too sweet.
constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if you want it, go get it”
how about a mix of the two “if its meant to be, its up to me”
"Everything happens for a reason" is not a bad philosophy to adopt. Because if you look carefully, you can find a meaning in everything, a little message and hint that life likes to throw at you before you can even figure it out. And then you realize, "oh, this is why that happened", because life likes to prep you up in mysterious, sneaky ways.
Don’t be sad if something didn’t happen exactly the way you wanted it to. Maybe you’re supposed to learn a lesson here. Don’t be upset if you always seem to have bad luck. Maybe it’s good luck in disguise?
I guess I’m just gonna let life take me on its flow and see where it goes.
I told my best friend that I didn’t feel well tonight, that I was having “one of those nights” because he has them, too. Before he came back home from shooting pool, I went to hide out in my car. For a sense of aloneness. Sometimes you need to be alone in order to grasp clarity. As I was nearing the end of the session with myself, I heard him walk up through the garage and past my car. I knew he knew that I was curled up in fetal position in the driver’s seat. And I knew he was relieved knowing that I hadn’t gone out for a drive somewhere at such an ungodly hour.
Anyway, as he walked by, he started singing loudly. That’s him. He listens to music loudly. And he sings loudly. And the minute he started singing, I couldn’t help but chuckle.
It’s always a funny kind of story. Whenever you are sad or lonely, you always get reminded of how ridiculous you’re being, of how the world hasn’t ended and how absolutely alive you are— how it’s really up to you to choose how to live your life. And although it’s really hard sometimes to even “like” life, I hope that you choose happiness. I hope that when you’re done being melodramatic and sad, that you always choose happiness.
Same time of year, again, same situation.
Different air, different people, different feeling, different self.
Same sky. The year before, it was covered in clouds. But even then, she knew that behind the clouds, the stars still shone. They’re always shining, aren’t they? The light is a million years old, but it’s still here. Now, the sky is clear, the moon is bright, the air’s a little chilly for August, but that’s alright.
One, two, three shooting stars. Or were they her imagination?
Not because she felt like she was lacking in it, particularly, but just because. There’s nothing else, really, in the world that she needs.
It’s a quiet kind of night. It’s the kind of night that makes me want to think. I’m so exhausted though, it’s kind of hard to think. It’s not a terrible exhaustion. It’s a I Don’t Want to Talk or Do Anything Productive For A Couple Hours exhaustion. It just takes a little time, sometimes, for me to pull myself together, to figure out the jumbled mess that is my thoughts and to piece them together into constellations, like the ones I like to look at so much. It’s interesting how one day someone decided that the stars should form pictures and he drew lines and connected the dots to tell stories, as if the stars themselves were not already grand stories to tell. It doesn’t matter though, I like stories, and the more the better. The star Sirius is 8 light years away, so if and when I spot it in the sky, I’m looking eight years in the past - the me eight years ago wouldn’t be able to wrap her head around where I am now. I guess that’s because when you’re a kid, you don’t really think about growing up.
I like how stars tell history. Shooting stars are nice, too. I listened to Les Étoiles Filantes a couple times and then I saw three of them in one night, I don’t know if it’s a sign that you’ll encounter a lot of good luck when you keep your head towards the sky, but it made me feel happy and ready for new things.
Right now it’s only been a week since this “adventure” began, but I feel like it’s been a year and I’m really tired out, but I’m feeling good. Like, I’m happy. So that’s always good. If a week felt like a year, I wonder how a year would feel like. I wonder what’s in store in the weeks, the years, to come.
I’m still keeping my head up towards the sky. I’ve learned a lot in this week, you know. Like how sometimes you just need some people you can trust, some people who make you smile, and you can go a long way from there. Also, how if you put in a little effort, that can go a long way, too. Sometimes, it’s all just timing. Sometimes, you just trust your gut instinct and believe in yourself and you could find a way. Like a drunk guy with good intentions once charitably expressed, live your life with no regrets. It’s what you make of it.
I didn’t use bullets this time because I’m learning to piece together my thoughts, like constellations, even though I still suck at it. It’s a start.
- Pennsylvania’s a beautiful state, from stars to city lights
- (really happy we got to do some traveling as a family this summer)
- I feel like I’ve neglected some people recently. Just so many things to do and so little time… I’m running out of time :c
- Well probably b/c I procrastinated sigh what’s new
- So now I’m just packing like crazy and I feel like I’m over packing tbh
- Shopping for art supplies makes me happy though
- Revisited some old memories that made me smile. It’s weird how easy it is to forget a certain happiness sometimes.
- I miss those days of cloud nine.. but even the sun sets in paradise
- (It’s not a sad nostalgia though - just happy memories.)
- Anyways, it’s so weird to think that in two days, I won’t be living in this house anymore. I never thought I was one to get homesick, but just looking at everything in my room that I’ll be leaving behind.. gives me a pit sort of feeling. I don’t know why. Like, I never touch some of these things. But just the sight of them is familiarity.
- I guess I grew comfortable in this room.
- Nonetheless, I’m excited for whatever’s to come.
- This is where a new story begins.
what a beautiful day to not be in high school