You have to be strong, you have to be bold. You have to be a lot of things that you aren’t. Say what’s on your mind, stop trying to please others. Be brave, expand.
That’s how we grow as people. You can’t stay in the same place forever.
I don’t particularly like when other people act like they know what is best for me, better than I do. Even if they are right, even under the slight chance that they do have better judgement and understanding in a situation, I hate it when they make me feel like I am incapable of making my own decisions. “You should do this, you were wrong to have done that.” Like, what am I supposed to say… I’m sorry I don’t agree with your ideal of what my life should be? I say that I am indecisive, but deep down, I know what exactly what I want. I welcome your opinions and advice, but please don’t try to tell me what I want.
Also, I’ve noticed that it’s so strange how we as humans make decisions. Sometimes I feel like there is an invisible subconscious force pulling my strings and making choices for me, and afterwards I come up with all this rationale as to why I decided this way. But that rationale doesn’t really mean anything. I feel like all decisions are made by some inexplicable chemical attraction to a particular choice. It’s beyond our own control. That’s why sometimes you can make a rational decision, but it still won’t feel right. We always try to explain ourselves after making a decision, but that’s all bullshit to make ourselves feel better. I wish we didn’t have to explain ourselves. I wish we could choose to do whatever we want just because it feels right. I think we’d all be happier that way.
I hate being so indecisive :c I need to… figure out what I want.
On Monday it was raining, and I felt lonely. The rain makes me feel that way. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t.
On Tuesday I woke up accepting my feelings. That didn’t change anything, but I felt better. When you notice a wound you can begin to help it heal.
On Wednesday I found and act of sweetness on my doorstep. I think the world wants me to heal, too.
On Thursday I realized that there is too much beauty and bravery in this world for us to get lost constantly in the petty things.
On Friday I didn’t feel so lonely anymore.
If you’re ever caught trying to make a decision, ask yourself first: will doing this make me feel better? If the answer is yes- hella yes, go do that shit.